(on the cover: Freema Agyeman, David Tennant and the queen Elizabeth II)
nb: as this article won't probably have a lot of reader, it was written for my (evil?) fun much much more than the real critic of the book. You're warned. And be aware that it was written on Kate's and William's marriage day, so you can understand every jokes.
Hi folks, today is one of the most special day of the 21st century for the United Kingdoms. Why? Because here, on the best french blog to find critics of fantastic books, using this fabulous langage, I'm gonna review a book about their (donna?) noblest character ever. I'm not talking about a useless member of the Royal Family (who cares about the princes' lives? They never do anything except marrying, having children and dying... The most expansive real-TV ever!), but about a man even older (and more immortal?) than their infinite queen: a Lord. Not any lord, a Timelord. And not any Timelord, the last of the Timelords. Realize people, that they made this character killing his whole race just in the hope that anyone of the real Royal Family would be inspired by him and kill all of his family... or at least this damn old and annoying queen... Think of that folks...
By the way, I should say that I do this critic in english because it's pretty fun (sorry for the inevitable mistakes I should do, I won't use any corrector or even search for pretty words so that if any french people read this he may be able to understand most of it) , and because that book ain't and will never be translated in french, as those horrible french DVDs of the new series, without english version prove it... What a shame.
Infos: Forever Autumn was written by Mark Morris and published in 2007. It's 244-page-long, and is telling an adventure of a character created by the BBC in 1963, called "The Doctor". As he's from an extra-terrestrial race that can avoid death many times while changing his body, he should be pictured in this book as his 10th incarnation, played on television by David Tennant, and accompanied, like most of the times, by a companion, in our case Martha Jones, played in the show by (the damn beautiful) Freema Agyeman.
Summary: The Doctor's spaceship, the Tardis, lands in a little town of USA in our days (because the Tardis can travel through time by the way...), guided by... the Doctor says it isn't a signal, more a splurge.... but as I don't understand this word (and you neither, admit it french idiots...), we'll say that it seems to be some kind of weird energy wave. Maybe I'm wrong but it fits the story so... Anyway they land to investigate this splurge (I love this word, it's funny isn't it? Splurge! Splurge? Hey look at the plural! Splurges!! It's... splurgal!) in this town, well-decorated because it's the day before Halloween and all the population always uses costumes, put a lot of decorations and go to a biiig carnival (well, big for a little town like this). But This year, skeletons hanging on the doors may be more living that dead...
Woow, let's talk about the Doctor! You have time? (well for the last Timelord you should have.) Because I can easily write 10 pages about him, probably my favorite imaginary character ever... He's a Timelord, one of the oldest race that ever existed, race that comes from a planet called Gallifrey. Timelords can regenerate 12 times, so they have possibly 13 bodies in their whole life (possibly because if you really kill the timelord before he can regenerate after the 1st lethal wounds, he can die like everybody (again, except the queen)). And each of his incarnations can live very long, so our Timelord, the Doctor (they all choose nicknames when they're children) is about 905 year-old and is now the last of his kind because of a Timewar in which he had to kill his race to save the universe. He owns a spaceship called the TARDIS, for Time And Relative Dimension In Space, that can fly through all time and space. From outside it looks like a little blue box for police phone-call, but inside it's pretty huge, with a big control panel on the middle that changes form sometimes (the tardis has some kind of core that makes it almost a living spaceship...). For your information, the Tardis is supposed to be driven by 6 pilots, so the Doctor usually has troubles flying it correctly and sometimes crashes instead of lands (and a crash means that you don't know where you are, of course, but neither when you are... pretty disturbing, even if you have fly with it for hundreds of years). Ha, and the Tardis translate langages around him so everybody can understand everybody, and that's usefull when you meet new alien races every travels.
Briefly, the Doctor is brilliant. He's smart, intelligent, clever (proof, he may find at least 20 other synonyms, and maybe starting only with the letter A). That's logic because he is very old and traveled most of his life. He's very funny, courageous and loves human race. He thinks about 200 times faster than Deepblue and acts 200 times faster than Elky on a 200 multi-tables virtual poker. He's the wisest man i've ever seen and never choose the wrong path (that's why he's still alive after 9 hundred years in his universe and almost 50 years in our... Yeah the show started in 1963 on TV... black & white, really). But he's totally mad too... but for him it's definately a quality. To finish this portrait, just notice that he's totally pacifist and non-violent, so he always resolve problems, from the smallest to giant wars, with his only mind. Sooo.. if you don't know him, just go watch his show, in english please, you'll never watch any other show the same way.
His companion here is Martha. She's a human and a real doctor for a change. She's very brave too, but more calm. Still she's pretty smart too, even if it's hard to see it because of the Doctor. She's black, and pretty good-looking, but who cares, in a book, the publisher used the same kind of letters for her... I think it's sad because she deserved better but anyway...
We see other characters in the book: 3 young lads, that caused all this alien-problem... They're nice, pretty childish at first, but they become much more mature and brave when they understand that many lives are in danger, including thems ("thems"? Really? Is that correct? Well anyway, now it is, by the 1st article of the "Blog's proclamation" I declare that any word I use here is now real english...) They're not as fun as our 2 heroes, but they have a nice development, that's cool.
Another character I could mention is Etta, the woman whose house is connected to the aliens' caves. She's a funny 40 year-old woman, pretty strange, surrounded by cats and convinced that she has some kind of psychic powers like her ancestors (and she may not be so wrong.... Spoiiilers (River, get out! (joke for the Dr Who real fans)) She is astonished by the acts of the doctor, she thinks he's totally crazy, but she likes risking her life with him: she feels more alive then ever. That duality is pretty much enjoyable.
Sooooo, for the characters it will obviously be the old 5/5, but after all, even if the Doctor only met the queen, Nicolas Sarkozy and Silvio Berlusconi in this book, he would have received the same note... Told ya, my favorite character ever...
This book is about the most exciting, most important, and best thing that could ever happen in a life. No, i'm not talking about marriage, that's just rubbish... You don't have to get married to love, so marriage is a kind of party to celebrate the fact that both sides of a couple accept that if you cheat on your love, you'll leave him/her half your possessions at least... yeaaah let's party and get drunk! I need to forget that... (just kidding to make fun of this abherrantly mediated marriage that is happening right now when i'm typing, on every TV in the world... Damn I think if I use the words Kate (or Katerine) and William I may get 10000 more viewers that maybe wouldn't like my critic.... Maybe because they didn't like how I judge the book... or because they are stupid brainless people-addicts that are currently living the best day of their poor life watching the marriage of 2 people without politic power & just rich because they were born lucky; watching this marriage instead of looking for the one to give them the opportunity to live this celebration, or, better, instead of saying mean things about the people sooo interested in this marriage or about this Royal-said Family (when did God came to rebless them last time?)... So I should take care of not typing Kate and William. HEY we're off the topic, damn people-topic, baaaaack to culture.
This book is about the best thing in a life: saving the world ! (yeah, I kind of planned this marriage speach, you got me ! ).And that's cool because that's what we love in doctor Who, he always (and I say always) saves the world. Not juste a useless city like Jack Bauer, or even a country like.... Charles de Gaulle? No, he saves the world. And sometimes many worlds! And one time, reality itself! (but not in this book)
This time he fights against the Hervokens (I liiike their name). The description is gonna be difficult because it was difficult to understand, but allons-y! They are very tall and thin humanoid aliens, with fingers as big as our arms. They're all painted black... no colours anymore, one day they turned all blaAack... And they live under the ground, in big caves linked by tunnels all around the town.
They're not evil by nature, but they don't care of any living species except thems (!) And unfortunately, to start their spaceship and go through space they're gonna have to destroy the town and maybe an even bigger part of the Earth, so the Doctor got to stop them. By the way they already involved in a war in a very ancient time and so were banned (aka "killed") by the "Eternals" (an overwhelming race which banned a lot of others but that we never see... maybe they were banned by... I don't know, the very secret "even-more-Eternals" race, or maybe they lost the "Ultimatewar" against the "Unbreakable Bastards", who knows?). Anyway, just a few of these hervokens survived, in dormance beneath the Earth, and were brought back to life when the 3 boys I told you about digged up a strange book under the oldest tree of the town, the day before the Doctor and Martha lands here, that's why they now wanna start their ship and go back to space. Ha, and the Hervokens can control almost anything, mostly vines and roots to capture their enemies, animals and some humans, to chase them, and any object, such as these skeleton-decoration all over the town, to... well to do the bad things, because they prefer staying under the Earth (and that's a good news because they could be pretty tough if they attacked by themselves.)
So it's not very original or passionating, but it's coherent and we understand all this little by little, so it's not so bad. I spoiled a little bit but the book is short, and not really full of suspens. So for the story 2,5/5, not boring but nothing more than this. But the enemies are not bad at all.
Well, hard to judge in another langage as I don't understand 1 word on 15 I'd say. Soooo.. for you, french people, let's just say it's not so hard to understand. Even if there are a lot of words you don't understand, your usually understand the sentences. That's why it's good to read doctor Who's books: as it's made to be read by adults and children (this character is as loved by youngs and adults, because even if it can be a scarry show, it's never violent) you can finally know what happens, even if you don't know what part of the monster is "heavily glowing red" or behind what the Doctor and Martha hide in the park. So, if you wanna work your english by reading some book, and you like doctor Who, I really think you should try one. Except of that, let's say the ambience is pretty well drawn: very dark, pretty scary, it's really a success. I've read other doctor Who's books, and this one is definately the scariest, but the one with the weakest story I must admit. Anyway it's good to change, so for all this, the style will receive 3,5/5 (maybe too much hard words, the other ones were easier to read I think)
Personnal point of view:
I would say it's a good scary doctor Who's book. The story could have been better but there are really good points for this book too. Of course it's not a chef-d'oeuvre, just a book written from a famous license, but what a license! The Doctor is really a splendid character, not only because of his intelligence, wisdom and sense of humor, but because of what kind of stories you can write around him too: infinity of alien races, of plays with the time... Really soo damn better than any super-hero, and always fighting the most powerful enemies you can imagine only with his mind, never using any violence. So for the association of this character, this story, and little events that make the reader laugh, let's give this book a 3.5/5 for this book, thanks to this new scarry way of writing about the Doctor.
And that gives us at the end a good 14.5/20. Well, pretty good mark, in fact I thought it would have 13 or something like that... I must say that the fact that it longs only 244 pages helped him having this note, the book is read very fast and you have no time to get bored.It's just a little new adventure of our lovely Doctor. Not the best, but still enjoyable. There are bad points that's sure, but the good ones balance the problem and make you forget them: when you read, you just enjoy your reading, and that's a pretty good success because a light story is usually a big weakness, but here you don't mind. Congratulations Mark
The +: the Doctor; scarry; good enemies that stay hidden but violently attack you with anything on the surface; funny as usual with the Doctor; no character that you really dislike
The -: not a very good doctor Who story; no time-travelling; Martha could have been more important; a lot of hard words for a french reader
This is it! I had that wish to do an english critic about my next doctor Who book for some weeks now (I like english langage), and the season premiere of the 6th serie made me open the book the day after... (It was a damn good episode hey?)
Just some kind of challenge in which I hope I did a correct work. I will surely do some again as I have others Dr Who's books, and that will probably be even better. But still, if you've read so far, that means.... no not that you read good english, everybody reads good english (well except the queen, but the matter comes from her eyes, not her mind). No it means that it's gonna be hard to do better, because my english critic was just freaky awesome!
Anyway, now we have great english critic, of an english-written book about the most famous character of the UK, on a french-critic blog... I think UK and France are today, and thanks to me, closer than they've ever been since the (really) tragic death of Lady Diana in Paris... By the way, if I have british readers, sorry men, someone made a mistake and told the driver that the queen was on the backseat, so he decided to sacrifice himself for the sake of England and humanity in general. Really sorry, but it was so well-intentionned, believe me...
nb: while I'm here, at te top of every pages, the big "STUFF OF LEGEND" is a catchphrase said by the Doctor about 3/4 times, in the series, to define to people what are the timelords.... That beeing said, you know it's not a great egocentrical thing I invented... Well it's still a great egocentrical thing but taken from Doctor Who, damn better, right? Still, you want a proof? From me? You think I'm a bloody lier? So maybe you think I AM egocentrical? How dare you, miserable piece of... piece of 8 (cf Monkey Island)? You probably didn't understand the half of what I wrote, and you judge me? I swear I'm not egocentrical, I'm just awesome, and if you don't believe me go burning in hell ! And by the way take this with you (proof at the end of it... but all the video is worth your time I think) link
(hey I didn't know I play so great bad people, because you know, I love everyone on Earth... Anyway, critics, jokes, english, What the hell can't I do, hey? See ya folks, next time in german? Probably not, as the only german-written book is "mein Kampf"... Isn't it? Never heard any word about another one in fact... Could german be worse reading than hearing? Doktor Who?... Damn it could be right. That's frightening! )